Discussion Questions

  1. What formed your view of human sexuality growing up?
  2. How close was your view to the biblical idea that sex is a good gift from God when expressed in the marriage relationship between a man and woman?
  3. Read Genesis 2:22-25, Song of Solomon 7, and Proverbs 5:15-19. Some Christians view sex as something to be ignored or avoided, or they believe that “good” Christians don’t talk about such things. How does the teaching of the Bible confront this perspective on human sexuality?
  4. Of the many spiritual benefits to a healthy sexual relationship between a husband and wife, one is that the physical urge for sexual intimacy becomes a motivator for keeping the spiritual, relational, and emotional parts of the marriage healthy and growing. In God’s design, a man never feels closer to his wife than right after they have experienced sexual intercourse. How does this reality speak to a husband’s needs and motivations for being intimate with his wife? How does this speak to the way a wife understands what drives and motivates her husband?
  5. Read John 13:2-5, 12-16. Jesus was the most powerful person to ever walk this earth, and He chose to serve. How does his example speak to the way a Christian husband and wife should treat each other in every area of their relationship, including the bedroom?
  6. Between the messages being pounded into our minds by a sex-saturated culture and our own tendency toward selfishness, it would be easy to view sex as a purely self-serving activity. But God sees this time of intimacy between a husband and wife as an opportunity for us to grow as servants. What are some ways a husband and wife can serve one another in the sexual area of their relationship, and how might a commitment to sexual servanthood grow a marriage?
  7. Respond to this statement: “In a marriage relationship, whoever wants sex the least has the most power in bed.” What does this say to the spouse who wants sex and to the spouse who wants sex less?
  8. Just as snacks before dinner can ruin our appetite for good food, filling our eyes with impure images or our minds with romantic novels or movies can ruin our appetite for the intimacy of the marriage bed. How can we cut off the sources of unhealthy sexuality our society places in front of us so that our hunger for intimacy with our spouse will grow?

Prayer Suggestions 

Take time with your spouse to pray in some of the following directions.

  • “Thank you for the good gift of sexuality and for the perfect setting to express it, the marriage relationship.”
  • “Help us to see that sexual intimacy is a bridge to growing close in every area of our relationship, including our emotional and spiritual connections.
  • “Teach us how to be generous servants in how we care for our spouses in every area of our marriage, including the bedroom.”