Ways to Show Love and Respect

  • Husbands show their wives love by understanding.
    • Don’t try to “fix” her; just listen! See 1 Peter 3:7.
    • Understanding – “primarily a seeking to know, inquiry, investigation” — Vines Expository of New Testament Words
    • Most men come bursting on to the stage of life as Fix-It (flowing cape appropriately draped over his shoulders … let’s skip the wearing tights imagery!). He often feels like this is his lot in life—to fix things (car, plumbing, bike chain, etc.). It is the most natural thing for him to continue in this mode when his wife talks to him about a problem she’s having at work, with the neighbor, or with the kids. Here is what most guys do in this situation:
      • Listen to some of her concerns
      • Interrupt her before she finishes
      • Give her the solution with “What you need to do is …”
      • Close the discussion by turning back to the TV
      • Ask, “So, what’s for dinner?”
    • This kind of reaction can be crushing to the wife. Sometimes, she wants a solution, but most often, all she really wanted you to do was listen and moan with her for a few minutes.
    • What are some ways a husband can show understanding to his wife?
  • Wives show their husbands respect by accepting his authority.
    • Appreciate his desire to serve and lead (Ephesians 5:22-24; 1 Peter 3:1-2).
    • Submit – “primarily a military term, to rank under” — Vines Expository of New Testament Words
    • Godly Leaders – “These go first and lead by example, so that others are motivated to follow. Those with the gift of leadership are quick to identify problems and show by doing how to minister to those in need.” — Bible Study on Servant Authority (acts17-11.com).
    • What are some ways a wife can show respect for her husband’s desire to serve and lead?
  • Husbands show their wives love by peacemaking.
    • She wants you to say, “I’m sorry!” See Romans 12:17-21; Proverbs 15:1.
    • What contributes to “explosive” situations? How can these situations be better handled?
    • What problems are associated with allowing things to build up rather than taking care of them as they happen?
    • What are some ways a husband can show peacemaking to his wife?
  • Wives show their husbands respect by seeking insight.
    • Appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel. Men, it seems, have an inborn desire to analyze, counsel, and (yes, once again) serve as Mr. Fix-It. Consider Job’s four (male) friends (Job 4:1; 5:27; 18:2; 20:2-3; 32:10).
    • “Yes,” you say, “but they were all wrong!” True, in that instance, they were wrong, but the point is, men like (almost feel a need) to share their insight. Men are not always right, but they think they are!
    • What are the different approaches that men and women often take to problems?
    • How might four female friends of Job’s have approached his problems?
    • See 1 Timothy 2:11-14. So, if Adam was not deceived, what happened to him?
    • What are some ways a wife can show respect for her husband’s desire to analyze and counsel?
  • Husbands show their wives love by loyalty.
    • She needs to know you are committed (Malachi 2:14-16).
    • Treacherously – these Israelite husbands had dealt treacherously with their wives by casually casting them aside. Everyone seeks reassurance—men often find it through work (raises, promotions, etc.), and women most often find it through relationships.
    • What are some ways that a husband can show loyalty to his wife?
  • Wives show their husbands respect by giving their support.
    • Appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship (Titus 2:3-5).
    • Men need their wives to be their friends. Now, friendship with a man is usually much different than that for women. Whereas women most often associate friendship with being able to talk with another woman, men most often associate friendship with being with another man (i.e. hunting, fishing, playing ball, etc.).
    • What are some ways that a wife can show support and friendship to her husband?
  • Husbands show their wives love by esteem.
    • She wants you to nourish and cherish her (Proverbs 31:28-29; 1 Peter 3:7; Ephesians 5:28-29).
    • Nourish – to feed, supply needs, to bring up to maturity, to promote health and strength.
    • Cherish – to foster with tender care, to soften by warmth; originally it referred to the tender love a mother shows her newborn.
    • What are some ways that a husband can show esteem for his wife?
  • Wives show their husbands respect by sex.
    • Appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy (1 Corinthians 7:2-5; Proverbs 5:18-20).
    • Men approach sexual matters differently than women. They are very visually oriented, they can “turn channels” quickly and be ready for sex, they have a physical need for sexual release, they feel that sex solves problems and shows their emotional love.
    • Women are much more emotionally oriented, they can’t “turn channels” as easily for they see sex as an outgrowth of the relationship, they take longer to warm up to sex and they feel sex does not solve problems.
    • What are some ways that a wife can appreciate her husband’s desire for sexual intimacy?