Many have been taught that hate is wrong. In fact, hate is probably one of the most misunderstood, unappreciated, and abused of all our emotions. Because it is so easily used for evil and not for good, we have trained ourselves to simply bottle up hatred, without ever expressing it for fear of misuse. Yet the Bible makes it clear that hate is as natural and divine as love, and its expression can cause as much good in our world. To be sure, it can be perverted, and even those who claim to hate nothing, actually do hate certain things. The key is not getting rid of hate but learning “to hate the right things well” (Nine Things A Leader Must Do, Cloud, p 73). Channeling hatred for godly purposes is as necessary to our Christianity as many other emotions that are not so loathed by our culture. To clarify, let us define love as “that which we invest in, go for, move toward, and devote ourselves to.” In like manner, hate is that which we move against, or remove investment from. For example, if we hate dishonesty, we move away from it and invest in its opposite, which is honesty. If we hate duplicity of character, we move in the other direction toward openness and sincerity. Therefore, character is defined as much by our hatred (those vices we oppose and avoid) as it is by our love (those high qualities which we strive for, attain to). The back and forth relationship of love and hate is very natural. By definition, if we love evil things, we hate that which is good. The opposite is also true. This is exemplified by Proverbs 8:36, speaking of wisdom, “All those who hate me, love death.” Also Micah 3:2.

God also defines Himself that way. He has expressed many things which He loves. But He balances that by being (painfully) honest about the things He hates. “There are six things the Lord hates, seven which are an abomination to Him: Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that run rapidly to evil, a false witness who utters lies, and one who spreads strife among brothers” (Proverbs 6:16-19). To hate these things is to be implicitly in favor of their polar opposites. Thus one of the positive results of hatred is that it makes us dependable. People know where we stand, and what we will do in any situation. Hate makes us dependable, so long as I am hating the right things.

  • “For I hate divorce” (Malachi 2:16) – The more I hate divorce, the less inclined I will be to foul up my marriage. If I hate divorce, then I love unity, satisfaction, and deep regard in my marriage.
  • “I hate the deeds of the Nicolaitans” (Revelation 2:6) – Hating the deeds, rather than hating those committing them is a good way to avoid personal hatred.
  • “For no one ever hated his own flesh…” (Ephesians 5:29) – We have an inherent sense of self-protection. Hating our flesh is unnatural and perverted, just as much as hating our spouses.
  • “I hate falsehood” (Psalm 119:163) – The opposite would be loving honesty, the hallmark of a truly dependable person.

Hate And Health

God designed the strong emotion of hatred to act as an immune system for the soul. “Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good” (Romans 12:9). The inference is that the emotion needs to be educated and perfected. It does us no good if we allow our hate to become destructive, which is subjective rather than objective. Hatred can become a pool of feelings that reside in the soul, waiting for expression. It can be very infectious to leave hate unattended or bottled up, as it was never designed for such prolonged hiding. Again, like the physical immune system which only works if one exposes it to various environments, hatred can be perverted if it is kept contained. We need it. If we do not hate anything, then we cannot love anything, for the two (as we have seen) go hand-in-hand.

What happens with much hatred is that it is unnaturally contained and eventually explodes. “Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, for anger resides in the bosom of fools” (Ecclesiastes 7:9). Realize this important lesson: hatred and a bad temper are not the same thing! We can hate things objectively, with godliness of mind, and total self-control. But when our hatred turns into fits of rage, anger, madness, and emotional volatility, we move away from the wise handling of our expression to the insane explosion of our passions. “Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man, lest you learn his ways” (Proverbs 22:24) It is interesting to see that a bad temper is something that can be learned.

Constructive Anger Is Specific

“Find the sources of your subjective hatred and make them objective. Put names and faces to the origins of your problematic feelings and attitudes. For example, if you have been hurt by an unreasonable boss in the past, do you feel subjective hate toward everyone in authority over you? Make that anger and hurt objective to the one person and offense that hurt you and do not generalize” (p. 82). To use hate and anger properly, we must have a very focused approach to its expression. It is comparable to a military air strike: with such destructive capabilities, and the potential for collateral damage, precision is paramount and there is no room for error.

 

  • When we have had a bad day at work, we come home and take it out on our loves ones.
  • One bad experience with a waiter or waitress sullies our perception of an entire restaurant chain.
  • Making your anger personal helps motivate you to improve the situation and mend broken relationships. It is very easy to maintain an impersonal grudge for a class of people for a long time, but very hard to be personal without addressing your differences.

Constructive Hate Is Balanced With Deep Love

“From Thy precepts I get understanding; therefore I hate every false way” (Psalm 119:104). David may have hated the false ways, but his hatred was balanced with a sincere love for sinners. “Then I will teach transgressors Thy ways” (Psalm 51:13). This mix will enable us to take the necessary tough stands on issues and remain kind in the process. “And the Lord’s bondservant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those in opposition…” (2 Timothy 2:24-26). The same attitude is found in God, who refuses to compromise (Galatians 5:19-21, Malachi 3:6), but desires all men to repent and be saved (1 Timothy 2:4-6).

There Is Always A Response

Some will try dealing with their hatred by simply stifling it and never responding to negative situations, but this is impractical. Everybody is going to respond somehow, sooner or later. If you will not take out your frustrations in one way, you will do it another. Rather than just “not responding” to evil situations, God expects us to have practical and constructive methods of expressing our anger. “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:28). Remember that turning the other cheek is not the same thing as a non-response. Turning the other cheek is a refusal to take your own revenge. It is a positive response to an unjust treatment. Non-response would be to turn no cheek. Non-response would be to let the thief take your coat and do nothing more. When injustice happens, find the peaceful, godly, responsible way of retorting. Hate in ways that solve problems:

 

  • If I hate that I am not talking to people about the Gospel, resolve to solve that problem.
  • If I hate that many church members are failing to attend regularly, do not just complain about it to your spouse. Call or send cards of encouragement.
  • If I hate that a co-worker is constantly insulting my faith, do not just ignore him, but actively respond by displaying your faith in productive, responsible ways. Make the world around you a better place and silence the doubters of Christianity’s practical value.

Love Not Fairness

We often equate fairness with love, but being “fair” is actually a value below love. Consider these passages:

 

  • “For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax-gatherers do the same? And if you greet your brothers only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?” (Matthew 5:46-47).
  • “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return” (Luke 6:35).
  • “Never pay back evil for evil to anyone” (Romans 12:17).

Therefore, the best method of dealing with things you hate is to love. Love is not necessarily “warm fuzzy feelings”. It is the active expression of treating others better than they deserve.