Men and Women Are Different
- Genesis 1:27 reveals God’s design for men and women in the beginning.
- There’s a difference in their roles. Describe some of the differences below.
- 1 Timothy 2:8-14
- 1 Corinthians 11:3
- Ephesians 5:22-25
- Deuteronomy 22:5
- 1 Corinthians 11:14-15
Topical Study
Bill and Pam Farrel have written an insightful book entitled “Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti.” Consider this:
Men Are Like Waffles
“We do not mean that men ‘waffle’ on all decisions and are generally unstable. What we mean is that men process life in boxes. If you look down at a waffle, you see a collection of boxes separated by walls. The boxes are all separate from each other and make convenient holding places. That is typically how a man processes life. Our thinking is divided up into boxes that have room for one issue and one issue only. The first issue of life goes in the first box, the second goes in the second box, and so on. The typical man lives in one box at a time and one box only. When a man is at work, he is at work. When he is in the garage tinkering around, he is in the garage tinkering. When he is watching TV, he is simply watching TV. That is why he looks as though he is in a trance and can ignore everything else going on around him. Social scientists call this “compartmentalizing”—that is, putting life and responsibilities into different compartments.
As a result, men are problem solvers by nature. They enter a box, size up the “problem,” and formulate a solution. In their careers, they consider what it will take to be successful and focus on it. In communication, they look for the bottom line and get there as quickly as possible. In decision-making, they look for an approach they can buy into and apply it as often as possible.” — Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti (p. 11-12)
Women Are Like Spaghetti
“In contrast to the men’s waffle-like approach, women process life more like a plate of pasta. If you look at a plate of spaghetti, you notice that there are lots of individual noodles that all touch one another. If you attempted to follow one noodle around the plate, you would intersect a lot of other noodles, and you might even switch to another noodle seamlessly. That is how women face life. Every thought and issue is connected to every other thought and issue in some way. Life is much more of a process for women that it is for men.
This is why women are typically better at multitasking than men. She can talk on the phone, prepare a meal, make a shopping list, work on the agenda for tomorrow’s business meeting, give instructions to her children as they are going out to play, and close the door with her foot without skipping a beat. Because all her thoughts, emotions, and convictions are connected, she is able to process more information and keep track of more activities.
As a result, most women are in pursuit of connecting life together. They solve problems but from a much different perspective than men. For women to quickly solve a problem when the issues involved in the discussion are disconnected from each other is an act of denial. And so women consistently sense the need to talk things through. In conversation she can link together the logical, emotional, relational, and spiritual aspects of the issue. The links come to her naturally so the conversation is effortless for her. If she is able to connect all the issues together, the answer to the question at hand bubbles to the surface and is readily accepted.” — Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti (p. 13-14)
Men and Women Are Often Very Different
- In the way they use their time
- In the way they talk with friends
- In the way they approach child-rearing
- In the way they approach their careers
- In the way they approach God
Different, Yet the Same (Genesis 2:18-25; Matthew 19:1-6)
- They both crave companionship.
- They both crave esteem.
- They both crave security.
- They both crave intimacy.
- They both crave acceptance.
Conclusion
Men and women are different in many ways — God created them that way. How we react to those differences often determines the success or failure rate of our relationships in marriage. Being that these differences are “pre-programmed” in us, we are better off to (1) accept the differences and know that to deny them is to fight against nature itself, (2) appreciate the differences and enjoy the “mysterious elements of love” which bind us together, and (3) apply the differences to complete us and assist us in fulfilling God’s eternal plan together.
Yet, men and women are very similar in other ways—God created them that way too. How we respond to those similarities often determines the success or failure rate of our relationships in marriage. Being that these similarities are “pre-programmed” in us, we are better off to (1) accept the similarities and realize that my spouse often senses and needs the same things I need at any given moment, (2) appreciate these similarities and know that sometimes we know exactly what the other one needs, and (3) apply these similarities by fulfilling them in my spouse so as to better fulfill God’s eternal plan for our marriage.
