Your First Love

• He is asked to find a “wife of harlotry” (Hosea 1:2), a woman named Gomer, and have children with her. The reason for such a strange command becomes clear as the prophet discovers Gomer has difficulty avoiding the life of harlotry that brought her so much attention and pleasure (2:5-7).
• Gomer is Israel to God. He had taken her from among the nations and made her strong. Israel had every blessing it could have imagined – not the least of which was a relationship with the Almighty, who deeply, unselfishly loved His people.
• Along the way, something changed in Israel’s collective heart. They sought idols and the customs of the heathen nations. They tried to integrate profanity into their worship. They indulged in the flesh flagrantly.
• Hosea is now asked to seek Gomer, to bring her back from her life of sin. But not in wrath or bitterness! “Go again, love a woman who is loved by her husband, yet an adulteress, even as the Lord loves the sons of Israel… Afterward the sons of Israel will return to seek the Lord their God and David their king; and they will come trembling to the Lord and His goodness in the last days” (Hosea 3:1,5).

This is not the only time in the Old Testament that God uses the husband/wife relationship to describe His love for Israel (Isaiah 62:4-5; 54:5-6 says, “Your husband is your Maker, whose name is the Lord of hosts”; Ezekiel 16:30-35 describes Israel’s harlotry; Hosea 2:19). The analogy of marriage works so well because it is the original relationship. Before humanity had children, best friends, grandparents, employers, or coaches, we had one man and one woman joined as one flesh. We relate to this better than any other relationship. And just as marriage opens our eyes to the most blissful highs it also reveals the most painful lows. Nobody is capable of hurting you more intimately than a spouse, as God’s repeatedly broken heart can attest. Consider a few practical applications before we go any further in the lesson:

• Because God is the original designer of marriage, He knows best how to prescribe and practice it. His use of the word husband to describe His relationship with us is no empty sentiment. Rather, He is the very best husband imaginable. He knew what it was like to sacrifice and toil for the object of His affection before we had consciousness. So when His word gives boundaries for marriage, we should give them our full attention and obedience (Proverbs 6:23ff, Malachi 2:14-16, Matthew 5:27-32, Matthew 19:1-12).
• But is it enough to simply “keep the rules”? Is any earthly wife happy if her husband does this only? Go back to the prophet Hosea and see, within that very context, what God thinks about a relationship that is based on nothing but empty rule-keeping (Hosea 6:6-7). It is not that the rules hold no value – on the contrary, the rules are so valuable that they cannot be kept properly without intense investment. The rules of marriage (whether to a spouse or God) are so important that one must not cheapen them through empty obedience!

• Marriage must be something more than that. Anybody who goes into it with selfish desires will see it end very miserably. God’s concern is not what we can do for Him in this relationship, but what He can do for us. He is not served by human hands (Acts 17:25), so it is not as if we have anything we can give Him but our love, and our obedience as an extension of that. A truly happy marriage is one in which both parties are overwhelmed by the unselfishness of each other.

“You have left your first love”

Revelation 2:1-3 – “To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: The One who holds the seven stars in His right hand, the One who walks among the seven golden lampstands, says this: ‘I know your deeds and your toil and perseverance, and that you cannot endure evil men, and you put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not, and you found them to be false; and you have perseverance and have endured for My name’s sake, and have not grown weary.’”

As a congregation, the church in Ephesus had maintained a high standard of doctrinal purity. They toiled under immense pressures from within and without and kept themselves clean, at least in the sense that they remained free from falsehoods. They did not endure evil men, which seems to be less common with each passing generation of Christians today. Finally, they tested those who claimed to be apostles. There is nothing wrong with this, for the Bereans are described as “noble-minded” because they searched the scriptures daily, never taking the apostle’s words as truth untested.

Do we follow the same pattern of caution in our own congregation? We must always remember that Jesus sees all, and is aware of all the activities that go on in His world. He “walks among the seven golden lampstands” like a guard, observing all that we do, so every time we tolerate evil He is aware of it. Every time we put up with false teachers in our midst, it is abhorrent to Him. Every moment of indifference to the degrading practices of unrighteous individuals is a moment spent in sin, disappointing our Lord. But would Jesus say the same thing to us that He does to Ephesus? Would He commend us for our stand for the Truth, and our stalwart refusal to participate in the evil deeds of unscrupulous men? The real question is: do we have more substance than empty obedience to the rules?

Revelation 2:4-5 – “‘But I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first; or else I am coming to you, and will remove your lampstand out of its place – unless you repent.’”

The importance of love cannot be emphasized enough, and its essential role in the life of a Christian is clear from this admonition. In spite of everything that the Christians in Ephesus had accomplished, they did not do it in a spirit of love. Their zeal was gone, replaced by an emptiness that seems to captivate so many churches. While they were a congregation that had remained true to the doctrine of Christ, they lacked the spirit of Christ. “God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth” (John 4:24).

What does it mean to leave our first love? Perhaps it is most commonly manifested in the lives of longtime Christians – those who have been saved for many years and have reached a lull in their enthusiasm, a gentle, uneventful crisis of faith. As for the Christians in Ephesus, they are a case-in-point of what happens to believers who allow their love to become nothing but empty rule-keeping. Ephesians 1:15-17 says, “For this I too, having heard of the faith in the Lord Jesus which exists among you, and your love for all the saints, do not cease giving thanks for you, while making mention of you in my prayers.” In the years 62 AD, which is about the time this epistle was written, Paul could not cease praising the Christians in Ephesus for their faith and devotion to the Gospel. Around thirty years later, the Christians who dwell in Ephesus are seen in a very different way. Of these members, the Lord says “that you have left your first love.” In only a few years time, less than a single generation, the church at Ephesus had lost their first love – they had forgotten about the difficult labors of those early years establishing the congregation and standing strong for the Gospel. They had forgotten what it meant to be strong in the faith and to love the Lord with all their hearts! Do we ever find this happening to us?

The danger for longtime Christians is to think that their religiosity is inherited – that they have been “going” to church so long that personal responsibility and study are no longer necessary – does this not happen in a marriage as well, when we stop feeling like we must toil for our spouse’s affection? We stop being passionately invested in him or her, or jealous for affection. Marriage goes from whole-hearted intimacy to dead routine! I find it interesting that the death of a marriage does not always look like a Lifetime movie – there is often little drama, perhaps no physical adultery at all. Many marriages (like many relationships with God) simply fizzle until there is only an empty vestige. There was no cataclysmic reason why Ephesus left its first love – its first love was not taken, ripped apart, or blasted away – it was left, abandoned and lost.

As Christ Loved

It is amazing the way earthly marriage to a spouse and spiritual marriage to Christ stimulate and complement each other. As we develop in one area we begin to appreciate the application of true love in the other. Marriage to Christ prepares us for marriage to a spouse, but the more we experience and apply love for a husband or wife the more deeply we understand the love of our Savior. This is why God is not afraid to emphasize such a crossing of relationships in Ephesians 5:22-33.

The love that we share goes beyond rule-keeping – though it is a necessary part of it. As a wife is obedient to her husband because of respect for him (5:22,33) so we do as Christ says because we trust His wisdom, power, and pure intentions. We obey Him and love Him but because He made the unequaled gesture of self-sacrifice. So too, husbands should love their own wives as if they were a part of the body, preserved and protected from all harm (5:25-30). Marriage is not an earth-isolated concept, even though we will not share it in the same way in the afterlife with our earthly spouse. Marriage is the greatest object lesson in true love that we can experience. We must keep our first love fresh and exciting through meaningful prayer, study, worship, and daily experience. We must see our own husbands and wives in the way that Christ sees us and constantly cultivate our willingness to sacrifice all for our most precious companion. Marriage teaches me that it is possible to lose my love and fall into the trap of superficial obedience to the rule – but the real reward is found in experiencing marriage with my whole heart, in true love. But most of all, I have learned that marriage is a relationship that is intended for God and His people first and foremost. We will only be married in this life (and it is often filled with trouble, heartache, and failure), but we will be the bride of Christ for all eternity (Revelation 21:2,9).